The Words As Such
by TmntChick
Summary: He never thought he'd find the one. He never thought someone would kiss him, and tell him he was beautiful. He never thought someone would want to hold him when he was an ugly, blithering mess. But someone, he was in a white suit and Kurt was his.


**The Words As Such**

Kurt didn't feel like he can do it, not the way Blaine did it. The slightly callous fingers drifting across his eyelids, circling his temple, running down his cheek until they stroked his lips making them part and him sigh ever so slightly onto the finger's tips was heaven. He tried to do it to Blaine while he was half asleep. He just felt like a screw up for wanting romance so, so much and not being able to give Blaine the heavenly feeling he got from having his face stroked so tenderly. Even the tender and lovingly content smile Blaine would give when Kurt's fingers ran over the stubble on his chin wouldn't give him faith in what he was doing, his heart would jump, but he never thought he was soft enough.

"You're beautiful, don't ever change."

"Everyone changes Blaine. We grow old."

"You'd still be beautiful."

He'd had some sort of brake down, mentally. He and Blaine were talking and he caught a glance of himself in the mirror. It was ugly, beyond repute. Whatever they were talking about just went in one ear and out the other. He couldn't shake the feeling of growing older meant growing uglier. Blaine just whispered to him, wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist and kissed him. Quietly, Blaine started to trace Kurt's face again, getting a shudder and a sigh out of him.

"Then maybe being old won't be too bad..."

"Old and beautiful."

"How do you do it?" he asked, hugging Blaine's neck from behind while Blaine drew at his desk. They should've been studying, but Blaine got sidetracked, as you do, and began to draw. Kurt would be beyond fascinated by the detail Blaine could create just with a grey lead.

"Well, I just..." And he would go on and on, and Kurt would soak in every word as his eyes followed Blaine's hand as it led the biro pen to shade a flower or another random doodle he'd create in the margin of his workbook. He'd do the same if Blaine was explaining maths or history, listening with the utmost content and watch his hands drift across the page. Kurt didn't ever think he knew enough.

"What about this one?" Kurt asked. It was only a quick glance he got as Blaine flicked the pages of his workbook.

"It's nothing." Blaine blushed as he tried to go on with explaining surds and indices.

"No, that's something. Please let me look." Kurt laughed; his owns cheeks warming at the sight of Blaine's bright red face.

Blaine flicked back the pages and handed Kurt the book, biting his lip. Kurt wanted to cry.

"It's amazing."

"No it's not." Kurt swatted his arm without looking away from the picture.

"Don't lie to me, this is..." He couldn't think of a word. It was a simple picture, done in grey lead, just him and Blaine close to each other. He wanted to stare at it for hours and hours. Flowers, stars, hearts and just random junk filled the background. Kurt could feel and see what of Blaine he himself had put into the drawing, leading him to love it all the more.

"You can have it, if you want." Kurt looked up at him, shocked.

"Thank you." Kurt framed it and hung in on his was wall, and took a picture and made it the background on his phone.

"Why do you have it on your phone?"

"So a little bit of you is always with me."

He kept his phone in his chest pocket whenever he had one.

Blaine kissed him, so slowly it was almost agonizing. Kurt wasn't a fast mover, he knew that, but the care Blaine always took and the way he tip toed around unbroken glass proved to Kurt he had nothing to worry about. Almost.

They were only small, almost invisible but Kurt knew they were there. In a bid to not let Blaine see them he'd almost made a point on letting him know they were there.

"What's wrong?" Kurt ducked his head in shame and took his shirt off. The scars almost hurt as he registered Blaine looking at them. But Blaine kissed them, and kissed them, and kissed them.

"You're still amazing," he whispered, bringing Kurt's hand to his own bare chest. Kurt didn't believe it, and he didn't see it. He wasn't anything to be proud of. But Blaine, for whatever reason, was proud and he did see whatever it was that made everyone think Kurt was amazing, maybe even something else.

"Why?" he asked between a kiss, his hand at the back of Blaine's neck.

"Why?" Blaine scoffed a little before looking Kurt dead in the eye. "You are the most compassionate, beautiful person I have ever met. I want your mind, body and soul. I want to love it and embrace it all."

Kurt let the tears slip down his cheeks. He was in the presence of an angel, he was sure of it.

He couldn't fathom it.

"_Kurt, Mercedes is dead."_

"Wah, what!" He stood in their kitchen. Judging by the silence that had befallen in the lounge room he was loud in his shock. He choked on his breath and stormed to the front door and grabbed his things, ignoring the calls of his name.

"_A car... a car accident. Her brakes stopped working, and she ran into a tree."_

"Kurt!"

He had told her to get her brakes checked out, several times. He stared at himself in the car window; the thought of driving made him sick.

Kurt had only seen it in TV shows or read it in books, he didn't think peoples legs actually gave way when it all became too much. But his did, his side hit the car and he slid down and onto the pavement. He didn't sob; tears just fell as he stared off somewhere.

"_I just... I just wanted to tell you before some new report does." _He didn't realise the phone was still at his ear. He wished he had a flip phone, so he could snap it shut instead off pressing 'end call' and make it all the more final.

"Kurt?"

"She's dead."

Blaine didn't ask who, he just nodded and joined Kurt on the pavement. He dropped his head on Kurt's shoulder and sighed.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm doing better than Mercedes." Blaine's head shot up. Kurt knew Blaine thought it was someone like Santana or Quinn, a friend but... you know, not Mercedes.

"Come on." He dragged Kurt to his feet and pried his car keys out of his hands. They climbed in the back seat and just cuddled. Kurt let out the occasional sob and Blaine just pulled him closer, as if it were possible.

"I feel stupid," his mouth said, but his head, heart and eyes said he felt weak.

"Hey, hey, hey; No, you're not stupid." Blaine said, cupping Kurt's cheek to face him. "Don't you dare think anything different."

Kurt didn't say anything, he just clung to Blaine. "Her brakes failed, Blaine... I told her... Oh god!"

"Shh, no, don't blame yourself. I told her she should've gotten the brakes checked as well, Kurt. This isn't anyone's fault."

Blaine drove him to Lima, holding his hand the whole time.

"Thank you, for this."

"Anything for you, Kurt. And you're stronger than any soldier; you're not as weak as you think."

"Oh, Blaine." Kurt sighed, slouching in his seat.

"Yes Kurt?"

Kurt looked up from his paper, grinning stupidly at the man before him wearing nothing but a towel.

"Air drying are we?"

"Yes. What's up?"

"Wedding vows suck." Kurt pulled at Blaine's wrist till he sat down.

"Really? Well, what have you got so far?"

"A star, a moon and a dog," Kurt said bluntly, glaring at the doodles on the page.

"What do you want to say?"

Kurt thought about it for a few seconds, resting his head on Blaine's shoulder. He wanted to say a lot of things, but he wanted it to matter. He wanted the words at their wedding to follow Blaine around everyday where ever he went. He wanted to say the things he hadn't been able to. Kurt wanted to say 'thank you', 'sorry', 'it'll never happen again', 'I don't want it to end' and most importantly,

"I love you." Blaine tilted his head so it rested on Kurt's, silently urging him to continue. "You say I'm perfect, when I'm really not - I'm at least rough around the edges and I never thought I was ever going to be much of anything to anyone. There are times when I feel like you could do better. So, I don't think I'm giving you all that much when I compare it to what I gain from being with you. It might not seem like a lot, and I know I don't say it in so many words, but me and my-different-self are all yours, Blaine Anderson. And after all that you have done for me... I can only hope it's enough to say thank you for all the times you've been there, and sorry for all the times I messed up."

He cried, nervous, as if Blaine would back away and run from the alter if he said it wrong.

Blaine drew that night, and he liked the result. Just a picture of a naked, beautiful Kurt. Kurt grinned and kissed Blaine's neck.

"I'm yours."

**I'm Yours By The Script.**

**Yes a song fic, with no singing oddly enough. I really hope it's not cheesy of awful. Please let me know. **


End file.
